What we're owed, and what we can expect to receive are two decidedly different things. Especially when you're dealing with someone who's allergic to the truth.
I love this line: “I had to get over my belief that letting go of my anger was an act of surrender.”
As a fellow grudge recoverer, I have definitely gotten stuck in this trap and didn’t realize until I read this just how much I see/saw letting go as LOSING or even somehow allowing an injustice to occur. But that’s not what it is! What! Such an insightful piece, Danny.
Growing up dead poor on Queen Anne Hill for the first ten years of my life the so called 'mistake', youngest of three brothers, one seven years older and the other eleven physical violence was a reality of my life. Dad, mom the brother who was seven years older beat, he especially beat the shit out of me. In the face of it I was told to toughen up. The Vietnam war happened, the house was empty of siblings. Parents openly cheated on each other as if they were playing tag. From the end of my junior year mom, dad and my oldest brother died. fifteen months of homelessness, draft notice, enlistment into Navy to avoid seven weeks and a wake up in South Vietnam, G.I. Bill. PTSD, treatment (EMDR) that was miraculous. Anger beyond description and constant pain, released. The subsequent awareness that my dad a WWII war hero suffered from PTSD and my mom was a sociopath and my oldest brother the only one who protected me did not choose to die, nor did my other brother choose his path of violence. p.s.: when I returned from service aboard the USS Oriskany his attempt to level set me back to being seven years old did not fare well for him, giving me space. Freeing myself took a bit to come to the notion that nobody owed me anything beyond their capacity to give to me which allowed me to realize that now, nobody owed me anything. Enjoying your series.
I love this line: “I had to get over my belief that letting go of my anger was an act of surrender.”
As a fellow grudge recoverer, I have definitely gotten stuck in this trap and didn’t realize until I read this just how much I see/saw letting go as LOSING or even somehow allowing an injustice to occur. But that’s not what it is! What! Such an insightful piece, Danny.
You’re too kind, Nora. Really appreciate you reading and sharing this!
Growing up dead poor on Queen Anne Hill for the first ten years of my life the so called 'mistake', youngest of three brothers, one seven years older and the other eleven physical violence was a reality of my life. Dad, mom the brother who was seven years older beat, he especially beat the shit out of me. In the face of it I was told to toughen up. The Vietnam war happened, the house was empty of siblings. Parents openly cheated on each other as if they were playing tag. From the end of my junior year mom, dad and my oldest brother died. fifteen months of homelessness, draft notice, enlistment into Navy to avoid seven weeks and a wake up in South Vietnam, G.I. Bill. PTSD, treatment (EMDR) that was miraculous. Anger beyond description and constant pain, released. The subsequent awareness that my dad a WWII war hero suffered from PTSD and my mom was a sociopath and my oldest brother the only one who protected me did not choose to die, nor did my other brother choose his path of violence. p.s.: when I returned from service aboard the USS Oriskany his attempt to level set me back to being seven years old did not fare well for him, giving me space. Freeing myself took a bit to come to the notion that nobody owed me anything beyond their capacity to give to me which allowed me to realize that now, nobody owed me anything. Enjoying your series.